I love the fact that you used Game of Thrones as the visual example of the power of shame. Perfect! I have felt it’s power whenever I have failed in the past and have converted it to anger and then to sheer willpower to succeed in the following iteration. I become leaner and meaner because of it as I tend to cut all sideways and retrograde energy to make a powerful push forward, and it gives me the grit to see shit through until I break through.
She did destroy everything.
A while ago i got so drunk on a date, made a dick of myself in front of people who were related to that person, woke up and from that day committed to quitting alcohol entirely. Have not drank since. I was so infuriated, so angry and so disgusted with how i had behaved and knew deep inside that alcohol was actually a huge road block for me (i had questioned my relationship with alcohol many times in the past) and my ability that I gave it all up and kicked out a few ‘friends’ who were enabling that culture to stew. It was the right move. The alcohol was keeping me in a mental rut. My cognitive function is the best its ever been and man i dropped a stack of weight.
Its nice not waking up with hangovers and whats even better is i am addicted to the grind now. I now am addicted to busting my ass working all week, and weekends if i can on various projects. Someone even said to me recently i had no life because i wasn’t socialising much since i worked too often and from that moment i knew that i had reached total exile @peter mentioned in previous B90x videos. Im actually a little concerned i have become a loner but that is self doubt coming in. Grind.
Everyone talking about stories of shame from the past, which is great, thank you everyone for being honest and @Nemisist419 thank you for sharing yours.
I’m in my story of shame right now and it’s interesting how much my life can resonate with B90X lessons to perfect days.
So I will go back one day and share that, of course if I will be around.
In the fact I have many stories of shame.
I just think of one which happened here on the PUB not very long time ago.
Yeah I have many stories, so maybe I will go back to that thread few times, but for now I need to embrace my shame alone.
I made many mistakes when I was young. Did not care about education or authority. Abused drugs and alcohol. My diet was shit. I was stupid, fat, rebellious, unmotivated and depressed.
245 pounds in Grade 12. Did not graduate on time with the rest of my friends. Shame and regret were my best friends.
This has been my greatest motivator for 8 years straight. I will never go back. I went back to school. Graduated. Fucking crushed college. I went 100% organic vegetarian for two years straight, lost 100 pounds. Started studying everything from metaphysics, spirituality, exercise, yoga, religions, eastern practices. I learned everything I could to control depression, to build myself up every day. People tried to label me with depressive disorders- I took my own path. I don’t need medication. I learned to rewire my brain. I learned to create my reality with every word I thought, every word I spoke, every word I typed.
There is nothing left for me but progress. I learn every day. I need no educational structure. I don’t need motivation to push myself anymore. I live for this. I live for progress.
Shame and failure became my great catalyst.
Damn, reflection is eye opening. I have come so far in 8 years. All because I choose life. If I had not felt the shame and regret of taking the path that took me closer to death, I don’t know if I would have the appreciation for this current path of Life.
Feels weird to type this out and reflect on it, I’m not sure I ever have.
You dont have to share it if you dont feel you need - Just be aware that others also make mistakes and also feel shame so we are all in the same boat.
Imagine the person you would be if you didnt experience such set backs early in life? You are rich as a result of your prior ways. Learning and growing. Awesome to hear.
I tried to be as honest as possible. If my past can help just one person to motivate I did my job. I’ve gone from riches to rags with a string of bad decisions. and I’m slowly fixing all of that. just never quit and never surrender to the weakness.
My failures have brought me shame. I failed to be selected for special operations my first time around. When i returned to base I fell ashamed of myself; however, that shame pushed me to go back again and was selected the second time. Shame propelled me!
Like Bear Grylls. He failed too for his first time.
I felt shame when I had to short sale my house in Florida during the 08 market crash. My mortgage company closed shop and I was pretty shamed. I was desperate for a job. I moved back to TX, found a Regional Mgr for a marble/granite restoration company who fired all our workers and guess who scrubbed floors for 5 years. Wised up, became relentless applying for anything at BOA. Started on the phones, studied the business, ffwd 7yrs later in senior leadership w/ all my toys back nice house, good family, cars etc. I’m still grinding and know that shame still feels real. Cheers
I hope I pass my drug test for my employer, otherwise, I’ll feel shame! lol
Anyhow, keep HODL’ing, learn, share the technology and embrace it. You and I will redeem each other from any shame, when we go to the MOON!
I’ve felt shame but I do not dwell on it. I always try to move forward. Those who live in the past are doomed to repeat it.
I have felt shame in the past because of a drinking problem/blacking out issue I had. I lost many close friends and ended many relationships with a lot of people I cared around me. Even though I wasn’t physically alone, I always felt so lonely and I used to feel this deep shame and loneliness that I vowed to stop feeling. I got help from a professional and my closest friends who never gave up on me and now, I can say that I was successful because I still drink whenever I go out with friends but I drink not to get drunk like I used to but drink to have fun with my close ones. Also, I don’t get blacked out like I used to. I found my sweet spot with the number of drinks and after that I just stop. Another thing is that, behind shame or a problem, there’s always a deeper cause and like Peter said, we gotta learn to embrace it and let it simmer in so we can figure out what the root problems are.
I’ve felt shame many times two of which come to mind happened around the same time. Failing my first business venture at 18 & breaking up with first person ever loved. Took me awhile to recover from that to realize I failed but not a failure.
I feel ya. Great to know you. I was happy to see ya last night. Have a great day bro
Likewise bro last Sunday sermon was great relistening to it.
I have done many shamful things in the past
Looking back they are things i wish to forget and leave in the past and focus on my life looking forward as i have learnt from the many poor life decision
4 years ago i decided to get involved with a group of guys playing sport. They are around middle age and most of them are doing very well for themselves.
I felt that i had under acheived compared too them.
This feeling definitely has inspired me to do greater things.