#B90X - DAY 75 - People Change when you go Pro

b90x

#1

Going pro changes how we spend our time and with whom we spend it.

It changes our friends; it changes our spouses and children.
It changes who is drawn to us and who is repelled by us.

Turning pro changes how people perceive us. Those who are still fleeing from their own fears will now try to sabotage us. They will tell us we’ve changed and try to undermine our efforts for these changes.

They will try to entice us with activities that just burn time. They bring up the “past” and all the “cool things” you used to do together. And when we refuse, they will turn against us and sometimes even talk shit.

At the same time, new people will appear in our lives. They will be people who are facing their own fears and who are conquering them. These people will become our new friends.

When we turn pro, we will be compelled to make painful choices. There will be people who in the past have been colleagues and associates, even friends, whom we will no longer be able to spend time with if our intention is to grow and to evolve as people.

We will have to choose between the life we want for our future and the life we have left behind.

I can give you tons of examples of my own life where when I have moved onto a new project or a new startup, my social system has completely and fundamentally changed. It must. It’s part of the change in your life.

Having worked with addicts and people in recovery, this is one of the most painful realizations that many of them have to make. They can no longer hang out with their drinking buddies if they are struggling with alcohol. They can no longer allow themselves to associate with people who bring them back into their troubled past.
The must disassociate with those that are bringing them down. They must change the environment, find a new one, and start anew.

In today’s B90X exercise, take a moment to introspect. Leave a bookmark here. I promise you, if you’re serious about making change in your life and creating a blockchain designed life that you want, you will need to remember this video. The people will change around you, if they haven’t already.
Another thing to think about is whether you have people in your life that you may want to reconsider. Are they helping or hurting you in your journey of self discovery and change?

Sit down for this one… you may need it. You may need to have a tough conversation.
Consider it deeply, consider what you want in life vs what they are pulling you towards. If it doesn’t match up… gird thy loins. The conversation must happen.


Going Pro - 20 Part Series of Going Bitcoin Professional in Life!
#2

Thanks for another excellent message from the road, so true. I’m serious about making change in my life and creating a blockchain designed life that I want. People around me are changing, some for the better, and some for the worse. I have been practicing setting boundaries over the last year with toxic people and it has definitely helped me have a healthier life. I’ve realized who my true friends are. I have also realized that I am my best friend and worst enemy. I want to help myself, not hurt myself. Anyone who is trying to hurt me in my journey of self discovery and change does not deserve my time or energy. The people who have helped me in my journey deserve many thanks and blessings. I am still practicing loving and praying for my enemies as well. Today I am researching masters studies programs in business, natural resource management, and law. I must choose what and where is best for me.


#3

When I decided to leave alcohol behind I had to make the difficult but important decision to stop hanging out in certain places and to stop spending time with certain people. They were holding me back from a life of sobriety and ultimately a more full and fulfilling existence.

It seems so obvious now, but, during those times it was hard.

The same thing goes for my professional endeavors as well. As I make better decisions around how I spend my time I ultimately decide who I spend that time with. Every professional decision must be better than the last… and my relationships change as a result.


#4

I liken it to gardening. You have to prune the diseased and dead growth periodically to encourage healthy new growth.

While I am very open to new people and experiences and methods, I am also very ruthless when it comes to blocking the bad stuff out. I’ve learned that I can’t fix people, or even if I could, I don’t have the time or patience anymore, that’s their issue to face and deal with. I’m way too busy building the best life for myself. They can wake up and follow my example, or I’m fine walking right on by as I further myself. It’s not cold-hearted, it’s self preservation. Those that know me understand that I have a big heart and lots of love to give. I’ll give it a shot and tell you or show you, but if you’re not ready to hear it, I must keep moving.

Keep up or get left behind.


#5

One thing I’ve noticed while doing this B90X program is that the “toxic” people in my life have sort of disappeared, while the positive people in my life (and new people) have been reaching out, calling me, and running into me when I’m out running around. What’s funny is that a year or so ago, I would actually find reasons not to hang out or be around these same positive people that are now front and center in my life, I almost felt weird or awkward being around them. Now I am motivated to be around these people. I am also finding that the vast majority of these positive people are into BTC and blockchain, while the negative people in my life still have no idea about it!

I didn’t even think about any of this until writing this comment, so if anybody reading this is reluctant to comment at the end of the videos, DO IT! I find that it helps my brain unblock itself and it opens up and solidifies greater growth of my Blockchain Mentality.


#6

I like this so much. The gardening metaphor is flawless and perfect for this type of thing. Pruning is essential for continued healthy growth!


#7

I can see who’s good & bad for me.
Personally I like to work hard,work my ass off & let off steam accordingly.
I’m continually balancing out friendships as I prefer to lone wolf at times.
I am my own, I’ll create my own pathway & who rides with.


#8

Powerful post @john, thank you for sharing


#9

Maaan,

I am doing the programme in reverse, because I have left it for so long, but it is time to commit; I actually re-read the posts when it started, and I felt shame for letting a lot slip!

But that aside; WOW!!! Just Wow. The way this post was articulated was that of a craftsman, I gotta say, we have so many talented people here in the Pub, and I think so many feed of the energy from content like this, in fact, I know!

There is a saying I go by, ‘You are only as good as the five people you surround yourself with’, and it correlates with this topic perfectly. I have had so many people come and go for various reasons, usually due to a short spell of over-socialising in an unhealth manner, with self-destructive behaviours, I will not lie.

But it came to a point where I reflected one night with my journal, and my entry was to list the people I surround myself with, and then think about the interaction I have with them, and on what basis and context. All I can say is, I threw my journal on the floor and went for a long walk.

It was then I fully realised, or I finally accepted, that my belief a lot of friendships were not healthy was finally validated, and through frustration and a big blow to my self-esteem, I just had to go for that walk and GROUND myself.

You know some people may consider it weird when we act in a way that does not confirm to social normality, but I walked through my favourite forest, lied down, picked up the leaves and just smelt something so simple, something that we could all day every day, but something that bought me back me, at peace with my inner self and new realisation, and boy did they smell amazing! The different sounds around me, the scents, the tactile ground in which I laid upon and most importantly; the beauty in which I could see through vision, through my eyes.

it was a powerful and emotional moment, but so healing.

To consolidate, I have found a common theme in life; nobody applauds your success, but everyone appraises your misery. Well guess what, and sorry for swearing, it ain’t fucking true!

Your social support network is CRUCIAL to where your life goes.

Love you guys


#10

I’ve given lots of signals, had plenty of conversations that I’m going to move when my finances are right. Weird thing about asian parents is that they might not even want you to move until you get married.

Family could definitely give you mental issues around a subject. If they repeat a message enough, it becomes like a religion in that it is encrusted into your subconscious. So you will need to really work to get rid of it.

Most people are not aware of their own biases. Another one of my relatives thinks that it is amazing someone she knows is a millionaire. I don’t think there is anything amazing about being a millionaire.

She surrounds herself with the same friends as from high school or college. I’m sure they are nice but they are not genius level people. I’m not surrounded by genius either, but I do a bit of reading and exploring.

Point is, to reach my maximum potential, I will have to seek out other really smart people. I don’t believe that genius is only genetics. A slow car could still end up in the right place with the right strategy.


#11

This point you have made is so true. I can layer these principles right over the major changes and decisions made in my own life. People I have known in the past that are still stuck in their self created predicaments. Others have helped me learn on the path to new opportunities and advancements. The people that have surrounded me during these times are so completely different and many are no longer in my realm as I move through life. These introspections are some times so relevant they are jarring to me when I consider the journeys I have been on and the way I choose moving forward.


#12

I would say most the people in my life are supportive of my endeavors. There is the occasional shit slinging but that is all done out of good humor. I’d like to think that undergoing constant change myself inspires those around me to do the same. Why is it that we can not have the old and the new? As we evolve and get to know the new we should do all we can to bring those that are close to us along for the ride, as long as they are willing and will do the work for themselves.


#13

This is true… some are worth bringing along.

I think it takes REAL introspection around ones life to figure out whether one needs to drop some dead weight. It’s a hard choice… but ALWAYS worth it.


#14

I’ve already made a big change by moving abroad and my flatmate right now is definitely helping me grow and evolve. Going to make another big change tomorrow and hand in my notice to work… :grimacing:


#15

Love the gardening metaphor too and I think that relates to below…

You can have the old and the new, as long as the old are not causing resistance and infecting your life with negativity. I still keep in contact and help my friends, especially the ones that are open to change and trying new things but I’m not waiting for them, they need to decide when they want to change.


#16

You’re not the Kris I know by any chance? He also spells it with a K


#17

I doubt it but you never know. What’s your name? I’m from the UK.


#18

My actual name is Long, so you’re not that Kris. I’ve been trying to get him into the crypto train


#19

The people I surround myself with are very supportive. I learned a long time ago that true friendship goes deeper, so those that are my true friends are the small few that I know are always there. I developed a disgust for those that bring me down, my mind repels them, sometimes even subconsciously. I am an introvert by nature, so I have no problem with limiting those around me. That being said, I do realize the power of networking and expanding a circle of influence, so I am still on track towards expanding my network of like-minded crypto enthusiasts and tech experts. I have found several people locally, I have even found out my Alumni has Crypto events (Go Canes!).


#20

Im proud and grateful to say my best friends are all hustlers, grinders, and go-getters in their own right. My family is very supportive of me, and I feel blessed.