#B90X - DAY 54 - Good Design is Honest

b90x
#43

How do I lye to myself? Well it depends, I lie about what I want, about what I’m capable or not capable of, about caring about things cause I’m suppose to, about how best to build my future, about how much I should be doing at once, about what tasks are most important to me. I have caught myself lying to myself so much over the years that I’m surprised my nose isn’t ten feet long.Been slowing cutting it out and being more and more honest and truthful with myself, because I can’t do anything for nobody if I’m not taken care of first…

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#44

This question is always a hard one. This time I believe I am lying to myself on the amount of time to achieve my goals. However attaching a date to a goal is usually unproductive. If your transmitting doubt because of the deadline transmitting it won’t happen so it doesn’t. So screw the deadline. It’s happening either way.

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#45

At times i can deny the actually reality of something and i can sometimes self handicap myself and show doubt in my abilities to achieve something. At the time it may seem a safer option to down play something rather than being true to yourself. After watching today’s video i will be more conscious of lying to myself and will be more aware of staying true to myself.

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#46

I really struggle with the self-handicapping lie. After having a few spectacular crash-n-burn projects that were extremely hard and painful, its been hard for me to get back in the driver seat per say because of my self doubt on my abilities and the fear of crashing-n-burning again.

Which has led to another lie, I think possibly the projection of a persona lie, that because I didn’t succeed or accomplish what I thought I should have and that I am a “failure”, I don’t have anything to contribute to help others and so I keep quiet about what I actually know. I’m working on this but it’s still very hard for me.

I think it’s because of these two lies that I hold myself back in showing or telling others what I’m working on and what I have accomplished which possibly leads to the lies of ignorance and refusing desire.

I can see how the refusing desire lie through these past few years of hardship and tragedy has caused mild depression for me that I’ve been battling. When you are in survivor mode and in a situation that you are forced to sacrifice just to survive, the refusing desire lie rears its ugly head.

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#47
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#48

Truth bomb!!! Sting. Yes. Absolutely. Thanks for that post @Angela

That self handicapping :raising_hand_woman:‍♀ Quit that shit. No excuses.

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#50

now, I’ve heard of cognitive dissonance in the past, but this explanation really helped a lot …

as for lying to myself:

  1. Ignorance - Shooing away feedback
  • when I strongly believe that the way I see things is the way things are; it;s kind of an ego, saying “I know this all”, this is what shuts me in my own box … until reality hits
  1. Denial of reality - Mostly, that we have a problem
  • when less familiar people want to get closer to me; it’s difficult for me to accept that the person might have good intentions or simply wants to know me better
  1. Self-handicapping - Uncertain about abilities, and downplay them
  • in my first years of work as an electronics engineer, I really underestimated my technical skills; back then I was a bit focused on getting things as perfect as possible and under as much control as possible (of course, this is childish - at the end of the day, the customer should be happy and most of the time won’t care about all the less relevant imperfections that come along with any real life product)
  1. Projection of a persona - Being who we think others would like us to be
  • this happens whenever I try to make a major change in my life, in my habits, in my attitude … very soon the people closest to me start to have some minor, but still negative, reactions towards this, because they aren’t used with me that way … and as a response I project my old self, which is not of help and gets me back to where I started
    (hm … probably they are surprised because I don’t prepare things in advance, I don’t let them know about my intentions of change etc)
  1. Overconfidence - Thinking you’re special
  • when women are interested in me … I find this really dangerous as it can build a false sense of pride for no valid reason
  1. Reducing desire because of failure (Sour grapes) Aesops fable about the fox - Giving up
  • approaching women for more than just a talk
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#51

related to projection of a persona, have you noticed that sometimes this stuff comes in play automatically, like a relfex ?

you get into a situation and you simply … react … in a way that’s not how you would want to

could it be because it’s already in your habit to project a persona in such situations ? so it makes it more difficult to change this

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#52

I lie to myself about having enough money atm. Even though I have a good amount saved. I should get a job grow that stash and invest more into cryptos. I currently have enough money saved to last me 6 months incase of any emergency that occurs. My goal is to be financially secure and until I truly achieve that I should keep working.

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