#B90X - DAY 54 - Good Design is Honest

b90x

#21

One problem I have is thinking I have the ability to tackle many things at once and be successful at them. I’ve run into the problem of stretching myself too thin, thinking I could be successful at many things at once.

What I need to do is be honest with myself and realize that I can only truly get good at a few or couple things at once instead of a handful. I need to get back into music production, it’s why I moved to Los Angeles.


#22

I would say that I’m the opposite of overconfident, even in things I know I am good at. After learning what the Dunning–Kruger effect is I believe it’s perfectly normal. I’ve known average people in the past that tried to pass themselves off as knowing absolutely everything, leading to them making fools of themselves. Instead I’d say that I am overly self-handicapping myself. Things I logically should be able to do due to previous accomplishments I imagine that I probably won’t be able to do, and you’d have to spend years developing skills to do that, so I guess I don’t really want it that much anyway. Downplaying my ability and giving up too easily are probably my biggest lies to myself.

Even though I can’t say that I ever project a persona when engaging with other people, I have quite a lot of difficulty having honest conversations. Partly because of not having practiced it very much, which leads to me simply not coming up with the words I want to say at that moment, and partly because I don’t want to upset people, even though I am confident in what I believe and it’s backed by logic and reason. If someone repeats a common myth about something, I might not react to the fact that I should correct them until it’s too late and people have already moved on with the conversation.


#23

This was a hard one for me I pondered on it for a day. I’ve been lying to myself for most of my life for the reality I’ve created for myself by my environment.

But the example given in this video is what I’m not honest to myself about. No one can really make me feel some type of way except for my close ones. And I say nothing to not make the situation worse.

My belief is that these facts are just opinions and shouldn’t affect me personally. Which is a skill I’ll need to develop for when I shamefully become a content creator. So I’m lying to myself that these things don’t affect me atleast I’m yet at that level.


#24

An area that I was lying to myself is self-studying. I was telling myself that I was studying enough time, but the reality is that I was spending too much time seeing videos and not related things to what I was supposed to learn, now I’m doing better in that area.


#25

I have a tendency to put off doing the things I don’t want to do.
Hoping someone else will do them for me. I’m living in denial, I am the only person who will get these things done.
The crazy thing is, if I just did one shitty job a day, it would be sorted in no time.
Also I may not be buying the beer into my home, but my mate runs a pub and gives me free beer to go and chat to him, so I’m not really cutting down my alcohol intake, just shifting it.


#26

I’m only 36 and am over ambitious. I have so many things to do and places to travel, but my biggest lie, is that I feel like there is not significant other/partner/person for me out there to share my life with.

Being a workaholic sucks, but I guess I’ll find someone once we go TO THE MOON again!


#27

I lie to myself and make excuses for:

  • not reading enough and investing more time
  • not getting out of bed as soon as my eyes open
  • not giving 110% day in and day out
  • not saving or sticking to my budget

All these things I have control and are hindering me from achieving my goals. Thanks for the exercise I’ve brought to light what I need to focus on and when it comes down to it just be a better me! :slight_smile: :clinking_glasses:


#28

Damn this one is deep. I am going to go back and watch again but I’ll try to answer from the heart.

I lie to myself about my circumstances.
I am where I am because of the decisions I have made in life.
I could have done better, I can do better. I didn’t need to go into debt and waste my time in college drinking and partying and ‘living life to the fullest’… bah, what a joke.
My biggest regret is not putting everything I had into every. single. day. and living up to my standard and realizing my potential.
I strive to put the effort in now, that I should have put in for the first quarter of my life before I got serious, so that when I look back at my life in a few years or many years, I can be truthful to myself and think “Fuck yeah- Now I am where I want to be, because of the decisions I have made”, rather than regret my circumstances because I made poor choices for so long.


#29

It’s so important lesson and hard, again. Good!
It’s mean opportunity to grow.

Yes, I know how it works, but talking about yourself is hard.

I denial reality, for sure. Unconsciously.

Also self-handicapping and I reduce my desire of my dream life because of past failures.
And that’s what really makes me mad.

Good design is honest, so I also know, my life could bring help, hope to others, and truly have impact for people’s lives.

I hate that voice in my head, when I wrote that, saying, that I’m arrogant, trying achieve something by that, or worse, get something.

That’s fucking bulshit. That’s not me.


#30

Dang, almost reached for a shot of vodka for this one :blush:

Today I lie to myself about:

Not so critical but important: I lie to myself about not having the time to read books. I have three brand new books and I have not cracked one yet.

Critical but getting better: Since separating from the military I’ve had many issues with self-handicapping


#31

How do I lie to myself today?

Oh gawdd, I definitely have used all 6 ways and till this day I still rotate in between all 6 sometimes but the ones that I use the most are denial of reality and overconfidence.
It depends on the time of the day and my state of mind(pre vs post work). Especially when I am exhausted after work, I admit I tend to passively listen and because of that, it has caused me some problems with my family mainly. It’s usually when they ask me to help them out with things and I say yes without thinking and then later forget. But what I wanted to share was how I used to lie to myself in the past.
I was raised in a christian family and the quote that I never stopped hearing was: “Always be humble”, even till this day. Until I started college, I truly didn’t understand the real meaning of this word. My meaning I guess to be more concise. For the longest time, I thought being humble was doing things without questioning like if someone needed my help, I would go and help him/her even if I had personal things I had to take care of. Also, for the longest time I thought being humble meant taking in insults or taking sht from people and thinking that it was ok what I was feeling inside because I was being ignorant, a follower, a sheep.
It wasn’t until I started college that I joined a youth group and learned that being humble is a subjective concept and it’s not the same for everyone. I freed myself from my misconceptions and I felt how all that resentment I had pilled inside, it just disappeared. I learned not to blame others for my ignorance or frustrations, to not take sh
t from everyone; if I have to say something, I say it. Lastly, accept my flaws and to own my victories and defeats. The truth shall set us free.

Just wanted to share my 2 cents.


#32

I feel you man. Still “reading” How to win friends and Influence people. It’s been about 3 months and I’m still on chapter 3 :sweat_smile:


#33

I fail to check out my real endurance. I think that because i managed in the past to go that far, i should be able to go that far again. WRONG. It took me a great deal of effort to reach that point before. I can do it again, yes, it’s easier, yes, but still very straining altogether. I have to recognise that


#34

Funny how I finally wrote my obtrusions and now we speak of honesty, perfect. No it’s time to address these. Thank you Peter.


#35

Currently I am lying to myself in my journey of personal development about being an emphatic person. Especially listening wholeheartedly to understand my girl. I disregard her feelings and just focus on results, lets move on, & get it done type of mentality.


#36

Thank you! I appreciate you


#37

Ignorance i sometimes do it and think my way is best or im just not willing to explain or teach what im doing to other people.

Denial of reality is thinking theres going to be a paycheck everyweek and i spend money on stuff i shouldnt have.

I always have self doubt in my abilities but that’s what come with a high risk job and expensive equipment being used… shit goes down hill real fast.

Projection of a person is i try to fit in and try and socialise with people i dont really know but inside i feel uncomfortable communicating with them if were not into similar things.

Overconfidence hmm i went snowboarding with a bunch of buddies once and when i was still a noob and went back country thinking it was fine… biggest mistake.

I quit college to go and work at sea because the maths got too hard for what i was trying to study to be a structural engineer.

I lied to myself today by telling myself to work on the mining rig for a few hours and go out for a bike ride and get some exercise done


#38

Self-critique, whoa, that’s always a tough one, but here goes:

Ignorance – Usually blow off the feedback if it is too hard or will require too much behavioral changeh

Denial of reality – Because of my age I can’t do as much as I used to even though I act like I can.

Self-handicapping – I always want to win at any game of skill, so I use this if I’m not sure of the outcome.

Projection of a persona – I have a tendency to want to please everyone. This is probably my biggest, weakest area. Needs work.

Overconfidence – Not a problem area. Usually I am under-confident.

Giving up – at least once a day, but the next day getting right back on that horse and trying to honestly win.

DAY 54 – Blockchain… a design in honesty. :trophy::sparkles:


#39

We lie to ourselves in many ways:

  1. Ignorance - Shooing away feedback - I am usually very good at excepting feedback, until it comes to my wife. Most of the time she is right, but I push it away. When she is wrong, I can easily explain why, but when she is right, I usually just keep quiet in an attempt to keep the peace, which in turn actually causes tension. Next time it happens, I will except responsibility and let her know in a civil tone.
  2. Denial of reality - Mostly, that we have a problem. Other then what is covered above, I am actually eager to see things as they truly ARE. When there is a problem and you can see the true aspects of that problem and look at it as it truly IS, you can actively engage in solving the problem.
  3. Self-handicapping - Uncertain about abilities, and downplay them. Here is my week point. I know it, and it has been plaguing me for most of my life. When I get in over my head, I will back off. What I really need to do is double down, dig in deeper, get the education that is needed to actually know. and then drill the actions until ability is accomplished. Sometimes drilling is not feasible, and just doing is what is needed, even if you have to do it scared.
  4. Projection of a persona - Being who we think others would like us to be. I am guilty of this also, but only with people that I want to impress. I see this to be a huge mistake, but one I have a hard time getting past. I expect, being me is the best. (But what if they find out all the horrible things I do in the dark):worried:
  5. Overconfidence - Thinking you’re special - I think I’m ok here, I strive to be special, and in some things I am, but there is soooooooooo much room for improvement.
  6. Reducing desire because of failure (Sour grapes) Aesops fable about the fox - Giving up - I have been guilty of this in some things, and in others I have pushed myself to my personal limits. Usually it depends if I see a proper level of award at the other end of the endeavor after I see how much effort is needed on my part. As far as the crypto universe and lifestyle, I foresee extreme rewards worthy of equally extreme effort.

Holy crap @peter, you really know how to get someone to tear off the social veneer.


#40

That’s how we do. I know myself too damn well to be taken over by fake peter.