#b90x - DAY 33 - Self-Deception

b90x

#61

A very difficult subject, as it is natural to self-justify and then self- deceive oneself.
It is difficult to self-examine and see ourselves as others see us.

My self-deceptions:
-Procrastination, I can always get it done tomorrow
-I tell myself the lone wolf approach is best – I don’t have to wait on people, check on their work, redo it to my specks. Instead I should delegate non-essential tasks that keep me from my priorities. Use the team approach for more efficiency, more fun and less stress.
-I take on too many projects and do not link them to my goals. I do this to deceive myself of why I haven’t met with success yet (fear of success), but then I do just enough to avoid failure.
In other words, I need to stay focused over the long term on my field of passion.
-I avoid making leadership decisions. I deceive myself into thinking that others are more informed than me and can make better decisions than me. I often find they are not as informed as me. Working on making decisions for me and my best interests rather than farming the task out.
-I deceive myself into thinking I have plenty of time but find out I try to cram too many tasks into the time available, and even less gets done.

DAY 33 – Not fooling around…. decidedly moving forward:snail::snail::snail::snail:


#62

I deceive myself by believing that hard work by itself will get me ahead. I have been expecting in life that being recognized for hard work will get me ahead in life. In some cases this is true, but when recognition is not observed, you find yourself in the same place as you were before. Just being a cog in the machine.
The good thing is i am willing to put in the hard work. I’m no stranger to the grind, but I need the correct vector. I feel the pub is the place to help keep me on course.
This game has potentially huge rewards. It also has large obstacles and barriers. TODAY’S B90X - Self-reflection - how do you deceive yourself? Write it down. let us know in the thread. how have you been deceiving yourself in life? forget bitcoin for a second. consider your fuller life?
What thought processes have you been struggling with, personally, that diminish the fullness of life you COULD be having? of those barriers are self induced. Me thinking that my lack of experience in this field will keep me from doing proper research is just me trying to avoid what needs to be confronted to do this correct.


#63

Another great one and very much needed. I excel at procrastination and the belief that it will all be ok and workout fine. I put in the work but I think a lot of it is not value added and is just doing what is suppose to be done to get by. I am very over extended on responsibility at work and personally. I manage several large projects at work that are outside of my role and take up a lot of my time, I’m on city council, I lead 2 ministries at Church which consume a lot of my time. I remember enjoying these things as the opportunities came but now they seem to bog me down without any reward or enjoyment. I think I need to re-evaluate my responsibilities and activities and start sharing some of that with others.


#64

I still have problems with timeboxing. I know what I need to get done, but sometimes I just want to relax and take a breather. I also have trouble with doing some things/sticking with them. I self motivate and want to do everything, but sometimes I haven’t finished the goals I wanted before going to the next one. Take my “I’m skinny as fuck thread”… It is a goal of mine, however, I have added a lot to my plate lately. We had just started Alpha and now that’s taking more of my time. I still do what I say i’m doing, but if I skip on something, it’s my workouts. I guess I tell myself I don’t have to workout as much since I’m trying to gain and I am still eating more. But I want to give equal attention to everything, and in order to do that, I need to complete my real goal of becoming financially free and not be bound by “I MUST GO TO WORK 12 HOURS A DAY TO SURVIVE” Because that is a waste of fucking time. I can’t enjoy my life like that, and when all I want to do is relax after, I feel like giving up on some things as I feel I don’t have the time to complete them. Im also already burnt out because I am reducing sleep to do the grind. We need to fucking fix this.


#65

This is definitely a tough topic. It had to be a tough video to get right. But as for me honestly this last year has been a year of discipline. Tri weekly dca, I joined the daily exercise thread earlier this year, and I haven’t missed a Monday Wednesday or Friday work out for this entire year so far. On many occasions ran in the rain, or had to curse myself to go put in the work. After every session I DCA. On top of that I changed my diet and cut out 99% of everything I’ve ever really enjoyed :tired_face:. Now 7.5 months later I feel great :+1: and my taste buds have changed.
I’m doing good on that, but the honest struggle is what in the heck am I supposed to be doing. The truth is I have many skills and could make a living a dozen different ways, but I get bored out of my mind half the time when I’m working. So there’s some honesty for y’all. :+1: And Peter is spot on you have to make the tough choices daily whatever it is that makes a difference for you is worth being disciplined about. :rocket:


#66

Shiiiiitttt… Let’s see… For years I lied to myself and others that I was 6 foot tall, I’m 5’10" and I think I’m shrinking… I tell myself that I am a nice guy, but I intentionally do stupid and mean things to those closest to me sometimes, and I don’t know why. I intermittently fast 8/16 and tell myself that I can eat anything during those 8hrs and that fasting over 16 hrs would balance me out. I initially lost weight but stacked it back on. I am part of “the dumb money” that FOMO’ed in, in January 2018, I didn’t know what I was doing then and I’m hoping that in the long term I at least break even… I don’t always listen to good advice, I only listen to what I want to hear… I love my son but I have no fucking clue about being a good father… You had to open up the can of worms Pete… I think I. I’m going a little too deep here… But fuck it.


#67

I’ve been deceiving myself on thinking was gonna be quick bear market and recover quickly. Was DCA more aggressively in the beginning of the year then dca less end of the year because of bull run. Fomo mistake lol.


#68

I have always thought that I could get to where I want to be all by my self. There is a certain (expected) pride that come from “I did this. I made it. I created this.” I realize now that I cannot get to the levels of success that I want without the help of others. Thank you @peter for all of your guidance. Thank you Pub for all of the encouragement, and Thank you @MommaBear for all of your support and joining me on this unbelievable adventure.


#69

I deceive myself with what I think I want, what I think there is to be done, what I think is required of me. I am a master of deceiving my own being and am working to getting closer and closer to breaking that cycle. Figuring certain shit out would make it go faster but got to go one step at a time.


#70

Honestly, I dream big but never really fully understand what is necessary to achieve those dreams. I picture the hard work and grind that is required but never really force myself to do it. I am lazy, I make excuses, I procrastinate to the point of failure. Even with the 90 days of bitcoin, I should be done by now but yet I find myself on day 33 but I been active in the pub for at least 5 months now. I know this sounds like a lot of self pity but to me its more like self realization. It feels like the Pub is DCAing into my soul, cause I keep finding myself opening up and coming back. Its always been me vs me and I finally get it.


#71

I almost forgot how some of those lessons can be really kicking the balls. Almost!


#72

This actually brought me to tears. It is really hard for me to face what I deceive myself with. In truth I struggle with my self worth and if I’m good enough. Because I don’t see myself as “good enough” I have a very hard time seeing and acknowledging my accomplishments. My current husband noticed it when I finished a project I couldn’t take joy in it because all I could see was what I didn’t do.

It also makes it very hard for me to ask others for help in doing things because I don’t know if I’m worth their time which leads to a whole downward spiral of fear of what others think of me. I have designed businesses that others have offered to invest in or be part of but because of my lack of faith in myself and fear of others seeing my flaws and inadequacy I hesitate to take the next step.

This also causes me to hyper focus on things. If I can just focus on _________ long enough I can do and be better so that I can finally be the person I want to be and live the life I want. The problem is that while I do this, I miss out on precious moments with my family or trusting to working with others that are interested in projects that I’ve designed or developed.

This may seem silly, but when someone posted about how many dropped out by day 30, I actually took a little celebration and acknowledged that I made it to day 30 and didn’t quit. Learning to acknowledge what I have accomplished and that I am good enough is a one step at a time process but I know the journey is going to be worth it.

Thank you @peter for this and providing this life changing course!


#73

Thank you for going through it!
We’re not done yet!


#74

so here we go again!


#75

yep, hit the nail on the head. time to get those abs back. perfect timing on this one for sure


#76

Wow, revealing this is going to be a tough one. I have spent the majority of my life worrying about what others think of me. This has led to much self doubt, fear of standing out, fear of making waves, fear of not “being enough or good enough”, fear of failing so much that I often don’t start or give up too easily. I have let people walk over me, blame me and make me feel guilty for their poor choices.
I am working on standing my ground and finding my own voice in this world. I still have a hard time telling people no and admitting I don’t want to do something when I know it will make them disappointed. My husband is a blessing in my life and has helped me in times when I need his support to not just withdraw away.
Thank you @peter and the rest of the Pub members.